Grace (part 1)

My life is halfway finished and I am nowhere close to a rational understanding of grace.  Someone once defined grace, quite appropriately, as the unmerited favor of God.  If it is unmerited, then it doesn't fit into a realm rational behavior.  So I have stopped trying to wrap my head around grace and instead chosen to simply bask in it. 

I have been able to experience grace in many ways.  Sometimes it’s the painful awareness of my own sin and the relief that God does not hold it against me.  Many times it comes from the people in my life that overlook my faults, people who themselves are filled with God’s grace.  Grace is quite simply --- amazing.  And in my life God has given me great snapshots of his unmerited favor. 

When my oldest son, Ryan, was eight years old he decided he wanted to be baptized.  With children you never know whether they are making that kind of a decision based on conviction or something else, like seeing someone getting baptized and thinking it looks like fun.  So we asked him some questions, explained a few things, and put him off for the time being.  Although he seemed to know the right things, we weren’t sure whether his heart was in it.  After all, repentance is part of coming into a relationship with God, and how can an eight year old be repentant?  My wife and I began to pray for a way to know his true heart.  Specifically, I prayed for God to give me a teachable moment with my son. 

About two weeks later I went out of town for about a week.  I always get the wife and kids some kind of gift for having to do without me for a week (although that may have been gift enough).  I got Ryan a video game for his PlayStation and he loved it.  A few days later he wanted to take the game over to a friend’s house.  Now usually that’s a big no-no in our home, taking video games to someone else’s house.  But I was feeling gracious and said he could.  The next day I got a phone call from his friend’s mother.  Evidently my son, upon reaching his friends house and finding them riding skateboards, put the game on their car and forgot all about it.

I hung up the phone and called Ryan to the kitchen table to ask him about the video game.  He knew he was busted and confessed his crime.  I told him how frustrating it was to have spent money on a game for him that he left sitting outside, and then proceeded to dole out his punishment.  That’s when I realized that God had given me the perfect teachable moment for my child to understand the gospel.  I said to my son, “Ryan, you are grounded from the television and video games for a week.  But here is what is going to happen.  I am going to take your grounding.” 

He looked at me like I was insane, his eyes quickly becoming question marks.  “Yes Ryan.  I love you, and even though you really messed up, instead of you being punished, I am going to be punished.”   My son didn't really know how to react.  He thought it was some kind of trick.  Finally, after sitting there a bit confused, he left the table and went to play.

I was feeling pretty good about my parental wisdom.  But I will be honest with you --- that was a tough week!  No television!  I didn't realize until that week how much I enjoyed watching television.  Truly, it was tough.   And all week when Ryan would notice that while everyone else was enjoying television or video games, dad was doing something else.  In the middle of the week he was so bothered he came and said, “Dad, you don’t have to do this anymore.  I can be the one grounded.”  But I insisted that I would remain grounded instead of him. 

At the end of the week I called Ryan back to the kitchen table.  I asked him if he understood why I took his grounding.  He stuttered and stammered; worried that he would be in trouble if he didn’t have an answer.  I said, “Ryan, it’s very simple.  Even though you were the one that deserved to be grounded, I love you and decided to be grounded instead.  I wanted you to see an example of what Jesus did for you.”  Of course I explained that being grounded from television doesn't even come close when compared to the cross.  And you could see the wheels turning in his little mind. 

“Dad, I need to tell you something,” he said. “Do you remember when I was five and Allison was three, and she got in trouble for pulling the blinds down in the living room?”  I honestly did not remember that incident, but I nodded yes so he could continue.  “Well,” he said slowly.  And then tears came to his eyes.  “It wasn't Allison that did it.  It was me.  So, would you spank me?” 

I am not exaggerating in saying that this was one of the most profound moments of my life.  My poor little eight year old boy had been carrying this guilt around for three years.  It left a burning sense of shame in his sweet little heart.  And when he finally had the opportunity to unload his burden he took advantage.  Even, as he thought, if it meant punishment.  Now that is repentance.  It was my joy to tell him that he was forgiven for his lie, and that God also had forgiven him for all of his sins. 

Our lives bear the truth of the Scripture.  We are born into this world as innocent as doves, and as we grow and learn we discover right from wrong.  Eventually, because we are human beings, we choose the wrong path.  But God is a redeemer, and by grace he reaches out to us, and helps us overcome the guilt and shame that seek to destroy us from the inside.